So, a lot has been on my mind lately, and perhaps I'm beating a dead horse, but here goes. More of a vent than anything, I need to get this off so I can concentrate on my school and work, where my mind is my most important resource. And no, I'm not looking for sympathy or a pat on the back nor comments. I've been put into an interesting position as of late. I've never been bullied by my piers, parents sure, but that doesn't count. I was always that kid who chased everyone around, my mom used to tell me to be nice to the other children in kinder. What they say is true though, people will push you down to make themselves feel better, and if they can do it publically, all the better. I've let this eat at me for weeks now, but no more. I'm crazy enough as it is, I don't want to go completely off the deep end (joking... mostly). I guess I didn't get the memo that friendship is measurable by how much you do for the other, a system of tallies and paybacks. I was of the opinion that you give when you can and you get help when you need it. Mostly, though, I don't have a group mentality, I take every person and situation by itself. I suppose that poses a problem for some people. And its true, I am typically a loner. Just because I don't talk to you for a while doesn't mean I don't like you, I just don't see the benefit in constant communication. I am not here for your entertainment. If you're looking for someone who you see all the time, that's probably not going to be me. I'm sorry. And lastly, if you turn your back on me, I cannot be expected to run after you and change your mind, I do not have the enrgy or will. If you don't like it, let it go, but don't be a horrible, ugly person about it. Because in the end you're hurting yourself the most, holding grudges, spreading rumors and in general being hateful. I'm taking a deep breath and moving on. If you want to reconcile, go ahead, I'll love you while you love me, but no longer. And if not, as terrible as this sounds, there are 8 billion people in the world, I'm sure I can find more friends who don't come soaked in acid.